In Between
by windxalchemist
Summary: Chapter One: He would do as was expected of a Kuchiki. No matter what. Byakuya, Kaien, pre-everything


**Title:** Late Night Strolls

**Author:** Windy

**Characters/Pairings:** Byakuya, Kaien, Kuchiki Elders, Kaien/Miyako

**Rating:** PG (for language)

**Word Count:** 4,193

**Spoilers/Author's Notes:** No spoilers. However, the chronology, sequence, and all of the historical accuracy has totally been annulled by the recent TBP Gaiden (Turning Back the Pendulum). I'd written this long before that had even been released, and felt that all of that is ignorable for the purposes of this story. If you don't feel you want to ignore that while reading the story, then you don't have to read it. Thanks!

* * *

The Kuchiki Elders would never approve of Byakuya if they knew of his monthly nights out. But since they had no knowledge of his sneaking out in the first place, he was worthy enough in their eyes to be the next leader of the Kuchiki Clan. It wasn't like Byakuya particularly wished to be the Clan Leader. He did not particularly wish to be of the Noble Houses at all. He envied his other friends who weren't of noble lineage.

Someone like Kaien.

The Shiba's fall from grace wasn't taken lightly amongst the four remaining Noble Houses. The Shibas had been forever banned from ever entering the Noble Clans ever again. It had pained Byakuya to see his friend in such a state, but what with his "bounce back in your face" personality, Kaien had rather taken to his new life of freedom. He too did not relish in being shackled to the chains of servitude of old crones rotting behind rice paper screen doors.

They had never approved of the Shiba boy in the first place; they placed accusations on him. _Who else could teach Byakuya such commoner slang? Byakuya would never learn such audacious habits so unbecoming of a Kuchiki. I do believe that Kaien, _they would sneer_, has been an utmost detrimental influence on Byakuya. _In the light of recent events, they had taken full advantage of the situation. The Kuchiki Elders forbade Byakuya to ever meet Kaien on a non-professional basis.

And so his monthly nights outside the Kuchiki Estate began.

Weeks worth of travel had led him to be an expert at navigating through Rukongai. The city came alive at night, where inns, pubs, and street vendors could be seen with bright lights illuminating the dirt roads. If one could look off into the distance on the roofs of the Seireitei they'd see a huge city made of a jumble of different colors and lights. This place was the polar opposite of his home: the Seireitei. Drunks, stingy store owners, and street rats ran rampant around the streets.

"Yo, Bya-chan," a masculine voice called out from the night.

Byakuya leisurely turned around.

"Hello, Kaien," he replied nonchalantly, not even giving a moment's worth of concern; unlike the first time when he'd released his shikai on his friend.

"Dammit, what gave me away?" Apparently Kaien remembered as well.

"Who else calls me Bya-chan?" he asked, stifling a chuckle.

He could see Kaien jumping down from the trees above.

They began to walk towards the 20th District of Rukongai. More namely, the Shibas' _current_ residence.

"Let's race, Bya!"

Kaien was gone in the blink of an eye. Ever since they'd acquired shunpo, Kaien couldn't go for more than five steps without submitting to the desire to use his new technique.

"You had better run, Shiba!" he threatened, not caring that his voice was entirely too loud, and most unbecoming of a future clan leader.

Hours later they were positioned in a couple of neighboring trees. Kaien was sprawled upon the highest branch that would hold his weight, while Byakuya placed himself on a lower of adequate comfort. He looked up at the stars, wondering why they always seemed to shine so much brighter in Rukongai than he ever could have hoped for them to, back at home.

There was a heavy sigh that broke his thoughts. "Why do you still come do these things, man?"

"What are you talking about? I thought that this was the highlight of your month, Kaien," he jibed, staring uncomfortably at the hilt of Senbonzakura.

"Get yourself a woman, Bya. At least that would seem romantic. Sneaking out every month just to see a guy just sounds pathetic." He was trying to poke fun at him, but spoke in an almost tormented voice.

"What would that change even if I did have someone? It wouldn't matter. The Kuchiki Elders have already chosen my wife for me."

"Byaku-"

"Besides, what of you? You come to these monthly 'shindigs'," he taunted, ribbing at Kaien's short tempter.

"Shut up! At least I've got myself a girl! What are you? Homo?!"

Byakuya gaped, indignant.

"I most certainly am _not_!"

He could hear Kaien's rich laughter from the branch above his own. The Kuchiki wasn't pleased at all to be made a joke of.

"Her name's Miyako," he said, almost whimsically. "She likes umeboshi and naruto in udon, but she doesn't like spicy foods or early mornings."

He was surprised to see his friend be so…romantic about someone. The Kuchiki heir felt a twinge of resentment in knowing that his friend could have the whole world at his feet while he was still locked up in the shackles of being a Noble House heir.

As he would forever be.

He gave a sigh before looking back up towards the horizon. The sky had turned an early morning shade of robin's egg blue. The thrill of the pitch black night had died, but the hustle and bustle of the morning had yet to be born.

"It looks as though if I'd better get going," he commented, though his actions said otherwise. He remained leaning against the tree trunk, tracing a finger lazily over the guard of Senbonzakura.

"Damn, dawn already?" Kaien cursed. He too was staring at the hilt of Nejibana.

Neither spoke. An uncomfortable air of strange awkwardness settled in.

"Ah, so, have you met your wife-to-be?" Kaien asked, trying to dig himself out of the situation at hand.

"Aa," he answered, apathetically, pushing himself off of the bough.

"So? Is she any good looking?" Kaien continued, encouraged by his reply.

"Adequate," he coolly remarked. "She could at least pass for a woman."

"Really now?" Kaien prodded, leaping to the branch that Byakuya had occupied just moment before.

He was a good distance away from the Shiba before he yelled out, "She kind of looks like a mix of Kuukaku and your mother!"

Byakuya couldn't help but laugh at seeing the face of the eldest Shiba.

It took the said Shibaa moment to recover before he screamed out, "You'll be sorry for that, Kuchiki!"

"We'll see about that, Shiba!" he retorted.

The Kuchiki's laughter was cut short as his thoughts drifted towards the grim scenario of what would happen should anyone hear about him sneaking out. He had always made it a point to get back in time before the sun peeked over the horizon, but today of all days, the sun felt inclined to rouse itself from its slumber earlier than routine. Either that or he was just a hair later than usual. He would like to believe the former rather than the latter, and was it just him, or was it already halfway up the sky?

With that new detail freshly in mind, he began to shunpo his way blindly through Rukongai. He felt daunted by the wall that he'd have to scale later to reach his bedroom. Maybe he could coax one of the guards to turn a blind eyeregarding his visits to Rukongai**.** What could he bribe them with? Money? Promises of a long**-**needed vacation? Byakuya gave a most ungentlemanly smirk at the thought of what the Kuchiki Elders might say had they heard his current dilemma.

He glanced at the sky overhead, and knew that if he didn't shunpo his ass out of there right now that the Kuchiki Elders would happily impale him upon Senbonzakura.

Byakuya was in a race against time itself as he took the widest strides that his legs allowed. His muscles were begging for a break, and he could feel his hakama cling to his thighs at odd angles from his swift, careless gait. When the Kuchiki Estate came into view, he quickly scaled the wall without even a second thought. He was gasping for breath, lungs protesting against his constant push. He reached his bedroom in a heap of sweat and adrenaline. The man shoved apart the hard wooden door, and then slid the second screen door open as though his life depended on it. Alarmed, he tore off his spare hakama. The Kuchiki heir could hear the familiar footsteps of his aged attendant.

Just as he was slipping on his black hakama, his attendant sharply rapped on his door.

Shitagi, hakama, kosode. Left over right? Or right over left?

Damn it.

"Byakuya-sama!"

He hurriedly shoved his tabi onto his feet, and then sloppily knotted his obi.

"Byakuya-sama!"

The man stuffed Senbonzakura into his outer obi, before flinging open both doors.

"Byakuya-sa-"

"Hai, Haruko-san?"

He saw his withered attendant standing in front of his chamber doors with a clipboard in hand. She did not look particularly pleased with his disheveled appearance. She raised a grey brow, ready to bestow upon him a scolding.

Only, someone else beat her to the chase.

Too bad that that someone was an Elder.

"Is this sloth a habit of yours or do you just have inexplicably bad timing, Byakuya?"

His eyes widened at the sound of that voice. He straightened from his stooped height and gave a respectful bow to the age-old woman dressed in Noble attire.

"Suchiko-baasama. Good morning. I trust that you have had a restful night's-"

"Cease with the flatteries, Byakuya. We requested to speak with you this morning, do you not remember?"

"Indeed, I do, Suchiko-baasama." He answered, lying through his teeth; it was much easier now than it was when he had first started. "My condolences for my behavior as of late."

"Yes, of course," sniffed the Elder.

She didn't even need to say the words "Come along" to have him know that he needed to follow her at once. He grabbed his waraji before he gave a shrug in the direction of Haruko. The dark-haired man walked silently behind Suchiko. He dared not speak to the Elder. Not even the weathered wood of the walkway endeavored to break the wall of silence. As they walked, he tried to comb his fingers through his hair and re-knot his white obi in vain.

Elder Suchiko entered the main gate of the building first. Byakuya could hear the rattling screen door make a squeaky voyage across the wooden track of its threshold. He stepped in slowly after. Nervously, the man dropped his waraji in the antechamber.

"Enter, Byakuya," came the grave voice of one of the Elders.

He set foot in the chamber to find the Elders in midst of a meeting, or something that looked like one anyways. The shinigami gave a long, overexaggerated bow.

"Do not gawk, boy! Sit!" barked a voice that he was already all too cognizant of.

"Hai, Suchiko-baasama." He obliged, bowing again.

Byakuya sat with as much as he could muster at such an outlandish hour. He absolutely loathed sitting seiza style, but forced himself to maintain poise. He was under the scrutiny of the Elders of the Noble House of Kuchiki; something that one wasn't to take lightly. He would be judged down to the littlest hair on his head. He could not afford mistakes.

"Well, let us begin," announced the chief Elder: Aoi.

Immediately, twenty-three heads gave a short bow before leaning back into their seats. When nobody spoke, he assumed that it was a test to see how he would handle the situation; he had failed this one many times before, and he licked his lips in hope that he'd not fail again. The Kuchiki heir sipped on his tea politely before opening his mouth to speak.

'_I must speak well, otherwise…'_

"You wished to see me this morning?" he asked solicitously.

"Yes."

'_I must never give them a reason to criticize me.'_

"I was wondering, for what purpose?"

Aoi put down his cup slowly before sitting forward. "You are aware that you are to lead the Noble House of Kuchiki for the next generation, I trust?"

'_To be in their favor. Right, Byakuya? Isn't this what you wanted?'_

"Ah, yes," he answered obediently. He was picking at his red beans, and went through the motions of eating as he took another sip of his tea.

"I won't beat around the bush, Byakuya."

He wriggled his toes. The tingling sensation in them was beginning to fade into numbness. Byakuya knew that he would never learn to sit on his heels properly. "Yes, sir."

"It's time for you to take your place as the head of this Clan."

The man almost choked.

'_I've been deemed worthy! Is this not what you wanted, Byakuya?'_

"And, with all due respect, Aoi-sama, what of other candidates?"

"You are the victor, what more is there to ask?"

'_No, this is not what I wanted. Not now, not ever.'_

"Ah, yes, Aoi-sama," he said, giving a deep bow of his head; he'd momentarily forgotten himself and where he was. Taking another sip from his cup, he spoke, his thoughts transformed into words much too quickly. "What if I were to renounce my title as the Kuchiki heir?"

He heard gasps of indignation and coughs of disapproval ring throughout the room.

"Do you really wish to know the answer?" asked the withered old man, ignoring the discontent pouring onto the youngest Kuchiki.

Byakuya nodded slowly, not trusting his voice to speak.

'_This is something that I'll never want. I do not want to go to lead my Clan. I do not want.'_

"Then you will be exile from the Kuchiki Clan. You will not have the option of being a Kuchiki any longer." The Elder sat there, as if challenging Byakuya to a game of nerves and pressure.

He would be victorious.

"Ah, hai, jiisama." He uncomfortably squirmed once more, before breathing. "I must apologize; I need to leave for my division at once," he lied, hoping to sound convincing.

'_Duty Byakuya, this is your duty.'_

"Of course, you may take your leave at once."

All twenty-three heads gave a low dip in the wake of his leave. Byakuya stood up, giving one last bow, before exiting the chamber. He picked up his waraji and forced open the main gates. He felt the pressure leave his bones and his adrenaline level returned to normal. He was definitely not fond of the Elders' building, and he never would feel comfortable being in there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"So you're going to become the Kuchiki Clan head."

"Ah…aa," he answered, looking away.

He couldn't help but feel as though he'd betrayed Kaien. It was a fact that they'd known since the beginning of time. He was to lead the Shibas and him, Byakuya, the Kuchikis. But fate had a horrible, vindictive way of twisting the best of things. He only hoped that his obvious resentment of the entire situation would be enough to sate the betrayal that lingered in the atmosphere.

"Catch, Bya."

He opened his hands to see a drink being tossed at him.

"Ah…what is this?" he asked, dumbstruck, trying to identify the unlabeled drink.

"It ain't poisoned if that's what you're asking," the Shiba replied, annoyed expression at hand.

"Uh…no, not at all."

As if to prove himself, Byakuya took a long sip at the strange concoction, whatever it was. He inhaled the contents of the whole can in one long gulp, ignoring the tears that started to prick at the corners of his eyes with the pain of the constriction of his throat.

"Thanks," he managed to say.

"Yeah."

In mutual silence, they walked over to the 34th District of Rukongai. It was one of the most well kept districts of the whole western Rukongai; he supposed that it was due to the fact that it was a district where shinigami patrolled and used as their training grounds.

"Ah…so how are you getting along with…?"

"Miyako?" Kaien prompted, resting Nejibana against his shoulder.

"Uh…aa," Byakuya answered, brushing away a mosquito.

What he really wanted to brush away was the awkwardness between him and the Shiba.

"Miyako's…great. It's hard to explain it, really."

He put his hand around Senbonzakura a little tighter. He didn't want this. Why were things so different from normal? Why was Kaien prancing off about some girl, giving him drinks, exuding of strangeness, and why was he, Byakuya, so discomforted by all of this?

"What's wrong, Byakuya?" his serious voice asked.

"Nothing," he quickly lied. "I'm just-"

"Come on, man. We're sparring." Kaien paced ahead of him.

All Byakuya could do was follow after. Suddenly, he was met by a blow from Nejibana. He parried it with Senbonzakura. The attacks that were thrown at him got stronger with succession. He played defense for the time being, wearing an almost-smile on his face. Maybe that was why he failed to notice when things were spiraling out of his control. Out of nowhere he felt cold metal tear into his upper arm.

A hand immediately went to his sword arm. He stared in disbelief.

Crass. Crass. So terribly crass. Uncultured.

Commoner.

Byakuya gaped; the blood in his hands was his own. Kaien had drawn blood.

First blood.

Kaien. He looked just as shocked by his actions. In fact, he almost looked… disgusted.

"Byakuya, I-"

His eyes were still wide with the distress. Nejibana trembled in his grasp.

"Kaien." He spoke, voice barely above a whisper.

With gusto, Byakuya slapped Nejibana away from him. Ignoring the dull thud of pain in his bicep, he stood back up. The Kuchiki, with as much grace as he could muster, wore an almost gentlemanly, almost polite smile.

Almost.

Except for all the lessons of nobility, ruling, politics, all of it. They didn't seep deep enough to become a part of his blood.

Blood. The blood that Kaien had shed.

None of it truly did sink in. Nothing.

He hurled himself blindly at Nejibana, forgetting everything that anyone had ever taught him about swordplay. He forgot it all. Why he was so angry, so sick of everything, so ready to hope for everything to snap in his grasp.

"Chire, Senbonzakura!" he screamed, too filled with range to think.

"Byakuya, wait!"

With the release of his zanpakutou came the shunpo.

"Byakuya," the warning was clear in Kaien's voice.

He didn't stop. The situation spun out of any semblance of control. Everything flew out of his grasp. He was slashing recklessly, and no one could stop him. Until he felt himself crash into a tree. In a daze, Byakuya saw an angry Kaien making his way towards him. As soon as he sat up, he felt a punch connect to his jaw. His head snapped back so painfully that it barely registered that he had been hit.

"What. The. Hell. Is. Your. DAMN. Issue?" Kaien asked through clenched teeth, jaw tightening with each syllable.

"What? What are you talking ab-"

"You! _You_! Every time I so much as mention the name Kuchiki you wince like I've stabbed you or something. Why don't you accept it?!"

The Shiba sat on his stomach now, fisting the front of his shihakushou angrily. He frowned considerably, mouth drawn into a heavy scowl.

"You act like nobility's a fucking poison! Like a damn curse!"

Is that what this was about? His nobility? His resentment of the fact that he would be forever leashed up in the hands of others?

"Why don't you want it?!"

"Kaien, it's…you don't understand. I don't want to lead the Clan," he sighed.

Byakuya slapped away Kaien's fists, ready to push him off, but the man didn't budge.

"Then why are you going through with this?" Kaien accused. It had seemed that he'd taken the situation too lightly. He looked up to see his friend's dark eyes pierce his own.

"I'll face exile if I don't take my rightful position."

As soon as the last words left his mouth, the Shiba pounced at the chance for a rebuttal.

"If you truly had no desire to be a part of that, then you _would_ face exile."

The harsh grip on his shihakushou tightened. He forcibly shoved away the tanned hands.

"Could you do the same had you been in my position?" he challenged, daring the Shiba to speak.

"Yes. If I couldn't be the best leader for my clan then I wouldn't accept the position, regardless of what I-"

"Shut up!" he fumed, not for the first time that day. "You would do no such thing! What's it to you whether I become my Clan Leader?! I thought you didn't give a damn about Nobility and Hierarchy!"

"Don't bullshit me, Byakuya. It was so easy to tell. Anything and everything that I had ever accomplished went down with my family name. People whisper, everything stares, and everything is ruined because my family got tangled up with some fucking mad man scientist!" There was malice laced deeply into his voice. "Everything, Byakuya! Everything!

"And then there's you. You have everything. Power, money, status, your reputable name that brings fear to so many people. Why the hell would you resent that? Is that some fucking, sick joke? Shoving it all in my face about how you have everything that I lost?"

In retaliation, Byakuya punched Kaien back for the brain numbing blow earlier. He stood up, ignoring the blood drizzling down from the corner of his lips. "So what? Does it look like I give a damn about your family name?! If that's what you want so badly, make a name for yourself as Kaien, not a Shiba," he could feel his words starting to spin out of his control. "Shut up, just shut the hell up! Stop feeling sorry for yourself over something you can't control, and taking it out on others!" he was roaring.

As the echoes reverberated through his eardrums, he realized how loud he had been.

Just a little too loud. A little _too_ bold.

It was too…common.

Byakuya felt himself cringe.

Blood. Blood. It had all sunken down into his blood.

Everything.

Just moments before, he thought that he detested Kaien, his fear, anxiety, insecurity, but now he realized the hate that he had for himself. He hated himself.

Even more.

He glared at the Shiba, trying to ignore his newfound revelation. Trying to ignore how much looking at Kaien elevated his self hatred. He did not need any new challenges to his ever-decreasing ego today. Their eyes met, and there were no words spoken as he turned around.

He did not run.

Kuchiki Byakuya did not have time to stick around for running.

He used shunpo.

. . . . . . . . .

"Aoi-sama."

The Elder turned to him, stoic expression intact.

"Speak, Byakuya."

'_Duty. This is your duty. Your birthright.'_

"I wish to…

'_There's no going back. No regrets from here forward'_

"accept my position as Kuchiki Clan Leader."

"Very well, Byakuya! You've made the correct decision."

'_You chose this, Byakuya. Never forget that /you/ chose this life.'_

"However, I'm afraid we need to break some of the bad habits that you've acquired from that Shib-"

He abruptly cut in. "No. That… won't be necessary. I'm afraid that there _are_ no habits to break, jii-sama. I merely await your guidance."

"Ah…yes." The wrinkled Elder replied, looking taken aback at the sudden obedience that he was presented with.

He gave a long bow, silently announcing his leave. He flipped over the page, not even ready to pursue his duty. By force, he willingly walked into the caged life, without hardly any resistance. Byakuya had thought that maybe going through with all the plans made for him; by fulfilling the best that he was born with, that maybe he wouldn't be so loathsome of himself. He'd hoped that it would help.

It didn't

He passively waited for the ceremony in honor of him. He, special Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the prestigious Kuchiki Clan. Many would do anything to be in his position. He would do anything to get out of it.

Almost anything.

Except that he couldn't bear to give up the Kuchiki name. In the end, he was every bit like the Shiba that he had so angrily berated. Even so much as looking at the man would spike a new round of fresh hatred.

Not for the Shiba, but rather for himself.

. . . . . . . . . .

The day of his entrapment arrived sooner than he thought it would.

After a long, dreary, monotonous ceremony –which he had no doubt was the Kuchiki Elders' subtle way of previewing the rest of his life–dressed in silk robes, he stepped outside. Running from his own party, he let out a sigh of relief into the dark night.

Until he saw him.

The Shiba stood there, package in hand, poised for an apology. Byakuya would have given so much to shunpo across the courtyard towards him right then. They could race to Rukongai together to joke and spar, but Kaien was too late. Just looking at him reminded Byakuya of everything that he had lost. Everything that kept him from crossing the line over to his side.

So, he merely walked past him, bearing every bit of grace expected of a Kuchiki.

He just hoped that his eyes didn't betray his true emotions.

--

Thanks goes to:

**strandedthought** and **eranith** ! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

DAMN IT, Dai-chan, your review/commentary helped a lot. Especially going through the whole damn thing and pointing out every little mistake. I always subject you to this torturous torture, and I probably owe you my first child for all of this that I put you through.

I owe you guys SO much. SOOSOSOSOSOOSOOOOOO MUCH. Probably like…coherency, sanity, and eyesight for the amount of stories that I shove into your faces.

So, while I realize that the chronology, sequence, and all of the historical accuracy has totally been annulled by the recent TBP Gaiden (Turning Back the Pendulum), I'd written this long before that had even been released, and felt that all of that is ignorable for the purposes of this story. I hope you enjoyed, and I would be most grateful for all comments/concrit. My longest gen!fic yet. :D


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